Mar 19 2009
Utah Eases Alcohol Laws, All Hell Breaks Loose. (And Craig Ferguson makes fun of Ryan Seacrest.)
Utah has long had some of the most arcane alcohol laws in existence, and it’s been the only thing holding off the apocalypse. Now the four horsemen are nigh approaching, disease and locusts are all over the place, cats and dogs doing the dirty, there was even a gay guy spotted in Salt Lake… though he claimed to be Ryan Seacrest, and said he wasn’t gay…
Before, one had to be sponsored by someone who was a member of a club to get a drink. A bartender could not pass a drink across the bar, but had to walk around and hand it to the patron. There was a bunch of other crazy stuff. The new laws are a little more lenient. Club membership is no longer necessary, and a bartender can just hand the drink over the counter. Legislators say it’s a “history making piece of legislation,” not realizing that the year is 2009. They still do have some weird laws, drinks still cannot be mixed in front of people, and bartenders are required to wear a magician’s hat, mix drinks in a cauldron while murmuring magical spells, and cackle on occasion.
