drugs

Not naming any names (OJ Simpson, Kobe Bryant) but athletes seem to be held to a different standard than the rest of us. Well, this one isn’t quite as bad as the two I didn’t mention, but it’s still kind of lame. Zach Randolph, forward for the LA Clippers, was swerving behind the team’s bus on his way back from a loss (of course) when he was pulled over by police. Reports say the officer smelled alcohol. Was Zach Randolph arrested? Of course not. Would me, you, or Jesus Christ have been arrested? Of course. Anyway, the Clippers did suspend him for two whole games, thus eliminating any chance they had at a playoff run… just kidding, they never had a chance, because they completely suck. Well, life isn’t always fair I guess, but as consolation, at least we can make fun of how the LA Clippers play basketball like girl scouts, how they should retire from the NBA and become an expansion team for the WNBA, how I heard from their cheerleaders that they all have incredibly small peckers, and they wear girl’s undies because they’re the only kind that fit. And also that they’re like dorks and stuff. Sha, that’ll show ‘em.

Here are some picks of the Clippers getting owned: